Fremantlebiz - Paul's Letter from Australia

Going, Going, Gone! (for an Iced Vo-Vo)

Well it's done. The Howard government was tossed out by the Australian electorate in a spectacular fashion yesterday. In the end it was decided by the great unwashed that the former PM and a great number of his Liberal/National Party coalition henchpersons had gone a bridge too far, and could no longer be entrusted with the governance of the nation.

Furthermore it appears that the ABC employee-in-mufti, glamour-puss candidate Maxine McKew may have snatched away the seat of Bennelong, which has hosted Mr Howard for 33 years. It's not absolutely certain that Ms McKew has got it in the bag yet, but even if Mr Howard has retained his seat by a whisker, the wind has been taken from his sails. He'll probably quit and subject the ungrateful bastards of Bennelong to a good bye-election.

We watched his capitulation live on TV last night - the DVD recorder was running for posterity. Mr Howard was diplomatic enough about the whole business. A case of democracy at work he reckoned. No mention of the Liberals who were caught distributing racist literature the other day. They probably put the last nail in his political coffin.

His assembled Liberal stooges last were more watery eyed. Well, that might have been because a lot of them had lost their cushy jobs. The freeloading on the taxpayer was over. On the bright side for them, they are not going to have to sign work-place agreements when they try to find a new job. Mr Rudd has said the Liberal initiated work-place agreements are to be scrubbed. (When he gets around to it.)

Elsewhere the Labor stooges had assembled in their zillions to suck up to Mr Rudd. There's always more stooges for a winner than a loser. We watched and recorded his victory speech too. Live history unfolding before our very eyes. We learned that Mr Howard had given valuable, dedicated service during his eleven plus years and he wasn't all bad. The stooges then all applauded to show they weren't heartless thugs as far as Mr Howard was concerned. They also applauded when Mr Rudd reminded them that rural Australians were experiencing the worst drought in history.

Mr Rudd said some interesting things amongst all his fairy-floss victory rhetoric. He signalled that he was going to make decisions he calculated were most in the national interest rather than based upon populist pressures. That sounded ominous. I have a feeling the "nice Kevin" whom the electorate became besotted with in the election campaign is not the real Kevin we are going to discover over time. Indeed, he might eventually become known as Kevin "Bloody" Rudd.

Mr Rudd has a boyish expression he uses as a convincing device on something he wants to project as a truthful fact worthy of his attention. It's when he says, "You know what..." This is the signal that something is coming that you don't know and have no way of verifying. He said it at least three times last night, and I've heard him use it a few times before. I have a feeling there's going to be a lot more "You know whating" from him over over the next three years.

Here's a you-know-what from me, "You know what, it was Labor which introduced the HECS tax on tertiary students." To hear Mr Rudd now announce that he is going to improve tertiary educational opportunities across the nation rings a bit hollow. It was Labor's Higher Education Contribution Scheme which strangled educational opportunities in the first place. It happened about the time when Mr Rudd first entered politics.

There was a long queue yesterday at the Melville Civic Centre. After I'd had my name checked and entered a polling booth I found a loose Senate ballot slip. Someone had filled it in and then left it in the booth. I handed it back. I figured if I tried to but it in the ballot box at the same time with mine the beady eyed official might have me hauled away and sent for renditioning.

So now it's all systems go for Mr Rudd. Labor will have a large majority in the next parliament and so they'll be able to do what they wish. I heard something about a free offer on beer. Buy one and the new government will provide one free, but I suspect it's a rumour.

Last night Mr Rudd said all those who had been elected yesterday were to celebrate with no more than a strong cup of tea and an Iced Vo-Vo biscuit. They'll be expected to start work today.

I heard that Mr Howard jumped out of bed this morning and went for his morning walk. Now all he has to worry about is will Janet have a cup of tea and an Iced Vo-Vo waiting for him when he goes home?

Hmm, I could go an Iced Vo-Vo myself, but we've only got Strawberry Tim-Tams.

© MMVII Paul R. Weaver.

About the writer

Check out each month's subject index on the Calendar Page for my "common-man" monologues about survival in 21st century Australia – plus a little history occasionally. An original essay is added most days as part of an undertaking to write a couple of million words.

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