A very merry Australian Christmas It's just after 8pm on Christmas Eve as I start to write this entry. Tomorrow morning will be much too busy a time for this little white duck.
Checking the thermometer on our front verandah the temperature is still 89 degrees F. There has been a strong easterly wind blowing all day, coming straight off our parched inland regions. It's the sort of wind that brings trouble. A wind that creates dumper waves at the beach to send unsuspecting surfers to the spinal ward. A wind which will have primed the bushland in and beyond the city to create a serious fire risk for Christmas Day - that's unless the firebugs decide to come out from under their stones tonight.
My eldest son and his girlfriend called by a couple of hours ago to collect our two youngest children. They were going to buy fish and chips and eat them by the ocean. It's a perfect way to end the day. We should have done it too. But we decided instead to cook some sausages and
nuoc mam sprinkled mutton chops on our backyard barbecue, washed down by three bottles of chilled water. My wife and I jointly decided to abstain from alcohol today. We had opened two bottles of "champagne" last night, which was one too many.
At the moment the other kids are watching
E.T. on free to air TV. It was being billed as a twentieth anniversary re-release. All the TV stations have been running Christmas themed movies over the past few days. Unfortunately there is an awful lot of the American comedy type. I'm really tiring of them.
So now all is in readiness to celebrate the birthday of the Jewish kid Jesus, except for the Orthodox Christians. They are on a type of religious daylight saving and will get around to it on January 7.
In our fridge ready for preparation tomorrow we've got pork, extra crackling, ham, chicken, squid, fish and booze, none of it Kosher. We've also got potatoes - sweet and regular, beans and peas, pumpkin, and just in case anyone feels peckish, some fresh bread rolls which have been in the fridge since Saturday.
So how will these appear on our "Australian" menu? Well for the entree we'll have a "fisherman's basket." Simply put, fried squid, fried prawn cutlets and strips of fried fish on a bed of iceberg lettuce with tartar sauce, all apportioned individually for each person. Less fighting that way. I had wanted to serve this course in paper dishes, but my dear wife wouldn't allow me.
The main course will be a "traditional" roast. That's where the pork, chicken and other vegetables play their part. We'll also bake the ham, with a sweet glaze and cloves. Plus of course we'll have gravy - can't forget the gravy - lots of it. We will also succumb slightly to American propagandic influence by having cranberry sauce on the table.
For desert there is an icecream concoction. My wife made this a couple of days ago and I know little else of it, apart from the fact it probably has some exotic ingredients.
My wife has set the dinner table out today. The Christmas bon-bons and napkins are in place and the glassware and cutlery is polished. It all looks very nice and homely.
The drinks will be sufficient, more "champagne" than people will want, plus Pepsi, beer, orange juice and of course, chilled aqua pura. Even though there will be a good choice to be had, I don't actually expect people to drink a lot of alcohol. From past experience, the entire family seems to have recognised when enough is enough, except for when my wife and I opened a second bottle of champers last night.
There will be the pre-dinner cocktails too. My wife is keen on my redoing last year's Christmas special, the brandy Alexander. I had to go to the local liquor store to buy some more brandy. The cheapest was French Napoleon at twenty three bucks a bottle. There was also a special running on Gilbey's Gin and Smirnoff Vodka. Fifty six bucks for two bottles if I bought one of each. So I reckon a classic gin and tonic may be my choice at cocktail time tomorrow morning - or maybe a 007 screwdriver instead.
The thing I dread most for all this excess will be the washing up afterwards. I wonder if there is any mention in the Bible of Jesus ever doing the washing up? I suspect he was always an eat, drink and be merry, then-run merchant.
Anyway, happy birthday Jesus! And of course, a very merry Christmas to everyone else.
© MMVI Paul R. Weaver.
About the writerCheck out each month's subject index on the Calendar Page for my "common-man" monologues about survival in 21st century Australia – plus a little history occasionally. An original essay is added most days as part of an undertaking to write a couple of million words.
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